The thing with mint candy is that the size is too small. Its too small. Every time someone offers me a mint or I buy a mint pack I don't know how many to take. For the little thing it is just one seems too less, two seems calculated. So you tap the container a few times and an overdose falls out. You could of course put a few back picking a mint one at a time from your moist and now sugary palm and then navigate the pill down through the small opening in the container but you don't want to look like a sucker now do you?
And the companies don't bother printing any instructions for serving size either. they think printing ingredients for mint is more useful than the serving size. To the commercially astute I'd even suggest that mints with serving size are the next big thing! Baby boomers are old now, they can't take an extra dose of Fisherman's! That thing will kill em. That thing is so minty I think they use it to grow mint leaves. If they used Fisherman's instead of mentos for the mentos-coke experiment, they wouldn't call it the Fisherman-coke experiment, they'd call it the Fisherman mistake for the mess thats going to cause.
11/20/2007
6/26/2007
yet to be named
"I am really proud of you". This from a woman to a man who had managed to scrape a halloween costume from somewhere. Where is mama's warrant for pride? All he had was a costume. And a costume it sure was - a black cloth tied to the neck.
And The lady! She has not a vocabulary sufficient to contrive a meaningless courtesy? What had she to say in the first place? "Looks good", "wow", "cool"? Perhaps she was attempting to excel this vulgar parlance. What is wrong with that? Nothing, nothing at all! Indeed it is a noble senitment and a noble deed it would have been had the sentiment taken birth elsewhere. The beast! She ruined it. What good is a treasure in the hands of a donkey? "No good" that is what the vulgar would say.
And The lady! She has not a vocabulary sufficient to contrive a meaningless courtesy? What had she to say in the first place? "Looks good", "wow", "cool"? Perhaps she was attempting to excel this vulgar parlance. What is wrong with that? Nothing, nothing at all! Indeed it is a noble senitment and a noble deed it would have been had the sentiment taken birth elsewhere. The beast! She ruined it. What good is a treasure in the hands of a donkey? "No good" that is what the vulgar would say.
11/16/2006
Absolute Truth:
''A young person always needs to find an enemy..."
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6151420.stm
And what of the young who are not absolutist and of politicians who are
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6151420.stm
And what of the young who are not absolutist and of politicians who are
10/05/2006
10/02/2006
Religious Hedonism
It is Eid-ul-Fitr. We are all gathered in a large hall where there are people of my country only. We have prayed, and eaten. Our breakfast was elaborate both in terms of attendance and nurturing. We are done with the feast by 10 a.m., when a very agreeable gentleman engages in a disagreeable act. He summons me for a speech. I am caught absolutley unaware.
For a man in my position the situation is very elusive. I am made subject to a shameless dilemma. A dilemma is of a shameless kind when rationally one could avoid it, but sheer pleasure inclines one to make the wrong choice. It is a dilemma for it is most delightful for me to speak. Indeed there is little that has pleased me more than my own words. It has charmed many to listen to me, but for me to listen to myself is a techincally arduous task. I can only seek pleasure in observing and considering as achievement sentiments of my audience. Oh how wonderful they are at times, how mucn engripped I have them on ocassions. I have observed in my audience sheer happiness, they are elated not because I have satisfied them, no-much more than that, I have introduced them to a new pleasure, a pleasure they have not so far been familiar with. I have - to use a phrase from Wilde - given birth to a new form of hedonism.
The after effects of my speech are no less interesting. They say of Beethoven that he used to laugh as his audience wept. He laughed at the feebleness of man, a thing which he himself was. As if puppets they were, his audience that is. As if he could command them to whatever pleased him. He enjoyed the pradoxical position of a republican monarch, for whence he played he was loved by all, exalted by all, he was in essence a man who had attained his position of a monarch by popular vote. He dictated all of them, but they protested not, on the contrary they worshipped him even more; like religious zealots, Beethoven's audience cared not what games their God played with them. I have experienced this pleasure. But I do not laugh at the feebleness of my subjects, for I am no different. I too am feeble as they are, to mock them is to mock my ownself. Nonetheless, they are my subjects, like hypnotised idiots they too succcumb to me, only I am generous enough to break their spelland grant freedom. This too is an exercise of power, for the foolhardy in us does not realize that one is most powerful not whence he can control all esle, but also all there is within.
The invitation for a speech is a dilemma for this reason. For if I emerge successful, I will emerge much pleased and powerful, and also in absolute control of perhaps a creature which takes my fancy. But I have not a speech prepared, so - as the Singaporeans would say - how?
I will proceed, I can't deny, how could I if I am such a master of the art.
The address:
I like to speak, it gives me much pleasure. I have been - for the last few years - quite particular of both my speech and erudition. Some don't realize that these go hand in hand. There are few entertaining things you can say in ignorance. Mere wit too can suffice, but wit too needs to be cultured. One needs to be trained much too precisely in the principles of rationality. Wit, after all, is but a quick and timely observation of a logical peculiarity.
But the situation is strange, for I have not a subject to talk about. There is, today, ofcourse. The joyous day of Eid ul Fitr. But we are familiar with the religious aspects of it. Let me engage more profoundly with this ceremony of which you think you know something.
It is a most interesting ceremony. It is religious, only in the sense that religion warrants it. I don't think it to be spirtual. You see we all celebrate today like we will almost a month from now the joyous ocassion of Eid-ul-Adha. To most of us it is clear, however, the reasons for celebrating Eid-ul-Adha. It is simply a ceremony to commomorate the practice of the Prophet Ibrahim (a.s.) But why do we celebrate today? One might say to mark the end of Ramadan. That it turns out is a most naive answer. Why would religion require you to celebrate the termination of a month it considers to be most blessed. Must not the religious regret the end of Ramadan, and indeed they do.
So why, then, do we celebrate the day? What is there to warrant the joy in the ocassion. I have already observed that the reason is not spirtual. You see it is a most interesting thing that religion should ask us to celebrate thus. I shall now, as many will recognize it to be, blaspheme. I declare that we celebrate today for that reason alone. We celebrate for the sake of celebrating. There is no other reason. We celebrate, it turns out, for the hell of it. I beseech you to find another reason more plausible than this, for I have failed in the quest.
We celebrate today not for a higher aim, not for a purpose, not for an ulterior motive, NO! We celebrate to celebrate. We enjoy the moment of today without any consideration of the consequences, without even the most trivial of consideration to what the day means. We engage today in a paradox of the most stunning caliber, we engage, I insist, in a religious hedonism.
So let us enjoy and take pleasure in what we do today, for on this day even the conservative should not object. God himself has declared the ceremony open, and open, that is, not in the temporal but in the liberal-ideological sense.
For a man in my position the situation is very elusive. I am made subject to a shameless dilemma. A dilemma is of a shameless kind when rationally one could avoid it, but sheer pleasure inclines one to make the wrong choice. It is a dilemma for it is most delightful for me to speak. Indeed there is little that has pleased me more than my own words. It has charmed many to listen to me, but for me to listen to myself is a techincally arduous task. I can only seek pleasure in observing and considering as achievement sentiments of my audience. Oh how wonderful they are at times, how mucn engripped I have them on ocassions. I have observed in my audience sheer happiness, they are elated not because I have satisfied them, no-much more than that, I have introduced them to a new pleasure, a pleasure they have not so far been familiar with. I have - to use a phrase from Wilde - given birth to a new form of hedonism.
The after effects of my speech are no less interesting. They say of Beethoven that he used to laugh as his audience wept. He laughed at the feebleness of man, a thing which he himself was. As if puppets they were, his audience that is. As if he could command them to whatever pleased him. He enjoyed the pradoxical position of a republican monarch, for whence he played he was loved by all, exalted by all, he was in essence a man who had attained his position of a monarch by popular vote. He dictated all of them, but they protested not, on the contrary they worshipped him even more; like religious zealots, Beethoven's audience cared not what games their God played with them. I have experienced this pleasure. But I do not laugh at the feebleness of my subjects, for I am no different. I too am feeble as they are, to mock them is to mock my ownself. Nonetheless, they are my subjects, like hypnotised idiots they too succcumb to me, only I am generous enough to break their spelland grant freedom. This too is an exercise of power, for the foolhardy in us does not realize that one is most powerful not whence he can control all esle, but also all there is within.
The invitation for a speech is a dilemma for this reason. For if I emerge successful, I will emerge much pleased and powerful, and also in absolute control of perhaps a creature which takes my fancy. But I have not a speech prepared, so - as the Singaporeans would say - how?
I will proceed, I can't deny, how could I if I am such a master of the art.
The address:
I like to speak, it gives me much pleasure. I have been - for the last few years - quite particular of both my speech and erudition. Some don't realize that these go hand in hand. There are few entertaining things you can say in ignorance. Mere wit too can suffice, but wit too needs to be cultured. One needs to be trained much too precisely in the principles of rationality. Wit, after all, is but a quick and timely observation of a logical peculiarity.
But the situation is strange, for I have not a subject to talk about. There is, today, ofcourse. The joyous day of Eid ul Fitr. But we are familiar with the religious aspects of it. Let me engage more profoundly with this ceremony of which you think you know something.
It is a most interesting ceremony. It is religious, only in the sense that religion warrants it. I don't think it to be spirtual. You see we all celebrate today like we will almost a month from now the joyous ocassion of Eid-ul-Adha. To most of us it is clear, however, the reasons for celebrating Eid-ul-Adha. It is simply a ceremony to commomorate the practice of the Prophet Ibrahim (a.s.) But why do we celebrate today? One might say to mark the end of Ramadan. That it turns out is a most naive answer. Why would religion require you to celebrate the termination of a month it considers to be most blessed. Must not the religious regret the end of Ramadan, and indeed they do.
So why, then, do we celebrate the day? What is there to warrant the joy in the ocassion. I have already observed that the reason is not spirtual. You see it is a most interesting thing that religion should ask us to celebrate thus. I shall now, as many will recognize it to be, blaspheme. I declare that we celebrate today for that reason alone. We celebrate for the sake of celebrating. There is no other reason. We celebrate, it turns out, for the hell of it. I beseech you to find another reason more plausible than this, for I have failed in the quest.
We celebrate today not for a higher aim, not for a purpose, not for an ulterior motive, NO! We celebrate to celebrate. We enjoy the moment of today without any consideration of the consequences, without even the most trivial of consideration to what the day means. We engage today in a paradox of the most stunning caliber, we engage, I insist, in a religious hedonism.
So let us enjoy and take pleasure in what we do today, for on this day even the conservative should not object. God himself has declared the ceremony open, and open, that is, not in the temporal but in the liberal-ideological sense.
On being charged of Chauvinism
Certain misdemanors have come to the notice of the administration. Someone has behaved risquely, and pursued the fullfillment of a request as if the subject of the request were obliged. We have been working for a customer perception survey and calling people all day to provide 'valued' feedback. Ofcourse, certain potentials dont consider themselves obliged and are hasty to make that clear to us. We can still be persistent, upon which the potential drops the call, only to call the respective authorities and complain to them of our bickering.
Our bosses, a man and woman in their later thirties, have summoned us for a private sitting. They intend to curb our persuasivness. We enter the room, and discover that there are fewer seats than required. So we let the bosses sit first.
I offer the seat of which I could have easily taken charge to the lady. She accepts and puts a remark to my chauvinism.
Indeed, Miss, Chauvnistic I am, however, my chauvinism is not of the nature you presume.
She smiles, adjusts herself to a comfortable position in the seat and turning to me asks for an explanation
Miss, I have believed in the superiority of a sex, that is quite true and of that charge I am indeed guilty and proud.
Proud of a charge! How odious!
You must be patient, my dear miss, for nothing more would you rather not believe in.
You are certainly right, miss, I have believed in the superiority of a sex, but you see, it is not my sex which I have believed better, rather it is yours.
Oh, how dear you are, only if you were honest too.
Our bosses, a man and woman in their later thirties, have summoned us for a private sitting. They intend to curb our persuasivness. We enter the room, and discover that there are fewer seats than required. So we let the bosses sit first.
I offer the seat of which I could have easily taken charge to the lady. She accepts and puts a remark to my chauvinism.
Indeed, Miss, Chauvnistic I am, however, my chauvinism is not of the nature you presume.
She smiles, adjusts herself to a comfortable position in the seat and turning to me asks for an explanation
Miss, I have believed in the superiority of a sex, that is quite true and of that charge I am indeed guilty and proud.
Proud of a charge! How odious!
You must be patient, my dear miss, for nothing more would you rather not believe in.
You are certainly right, miss, I have believed in the superiority of a sex, but you see, it is not my sex which I have believed better, rather it is yours.
Oh, how dear you are, only if you were honest too.
9/26/2006
The interview question
Many have asked me about the question which the blonde asks me in the interview, or atleast so I like to pretend.
Waqas, tell us about your beliefs. What do you believe?
Apart from a charming thing like you?
haha...what a lovely sense of humour you have. Quite like the rest of you...mmmm...
Ok lets not flirt, my wife's watching.
So what do you believe?
My dear, it depends...you see..its aaa..bit complicated. Let me put it this way.
It depends on the kind of people I am around, and the book I'm reading.
Waqas, tell us about your beliefs. What do you believe?
Apart from a charming thing like you?
haha...what a lovely sense of humour you have. Quite like the rest of you...mmmm...
Ok lets not flirt, my wife's watching.
So what do you believe?
My dear, it depends...you see..its aaa..bit complicated. Let me put it this way.
It depends on the kind of people I am around, and the book I'm reading.
New York Times is Junk
What must we read: the God of Metaphysics or what was that other book?
The History of God, Karen Armstrong.
What do you recommend?
The first one is really academic, its systematic philosophy and might take us a while to finish.
What about the second one?
Oh...well...*shrugs* its aNew York Times Best Seller...you know...we just need to skim.
Yeah when I was young I though that stuff was great, realized later its Junk.
I agree. New York Times Best Seller...all tht means is that the vulgar like it. Better not read it.
But we need something casual for the book club.
Yeah, lets stick to it.
The History of God, Karen Armstrong.
What do you recommend?
The first one is really academic, its systematic philosophy and might take us a while to finish.
What about the second one?
Oh...well...*shrugs* its aNew York Times Best Seller...you know...we just need to skim.
Yeah when I was young I though that stuff was great, realized later its Junk.
I agree. New York Times Best Seller...all tht means is that the vulgar like it. Better not read it.
But we need something casual for the book club.
Yeah, lets stick to it.
9/06/2006
Absolute Truth :
"Always strike the minority, was their principle - for when a minority is punished, it is guilty in the eyes of the masses" - Konrad Heiden, The Fuehrer (p.16).
NUS Forum
I love the first one. The leaves seem like random brush strokes, however, the metallic color seems to lends some method to the madness.
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